Book Synopsis My husband, on his knees, leaned over Miless body and continued the chest compressions. One-one thousand, two-one thousand, three-one thousand . . . Hes still not breathing! I screamed at the operator. Gwendolyn Burtons life spins out of control as her twenty-six-year-old son is rushed to the hospital, suffering from an epileptic seizure. She holds on to fierce hope that he will breathe again. But after learning he has no brain activity, that hope slips through her fingers as she signs papers allowing the ventilator to be disconnected. The cause of death: sudden unexpected death in epilepsy (SUDEP). After the funeral, she fights with the what ifs and should haves and struggles to understand grief. People around her try to offer comforting words. But her excruciating journey through grief had barely begun. You Dont Know Just How I Feel brings a three-part guide for the reality of grief, adapting to life after loss, and moving forward. Within these sections, Burton discusses - boundaries and self-care; - grief, conversation, and relationships; - community and social media; - holidays and secondary losses; - faith and healing. Each topic offers grievers and supporters the wisdom and discernment to care for the losses, milestones, and unexpected emotions that often arise. Filled with authenticity, Gwendolyns story and guide provide validation of the grief experience and hope that life can still be fulfilling.