About the Book A successful young social media director at a publishing house chronicles her ten years of psychiatric treatment for depression and she fought back against the harmful behaviors that kept her locked in a cycle of self-abuse-- Book Synopsis The internationally bestselling therapy memoir translated by International Booker Prize shortlisted Anton Hur. PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you? ME: I dont know, Im - whats the word - depressed? Do I have to go into detail? Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her - what to call it? - depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends, performing the calmness her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This cant be normal. But if shes so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair. Review Quotes At once personal and universal, this book is about finding a path to awareness, understanding, and wisdom. -- Kirkus Reviews Honest and authentic throughout . . . A sincere attempt at self-discovery that will resonate with young people who suffer from similar forms of depression and anxiety. -- Library Journal Candid . . . heartfelt . . . Sehees mission to normalize conversation about mental illness is an admirable one. -- Publishers Weekly A testament to the gradual nature of therapys cumulative healing effects, I Want to Die should resonate with anyone who eagerly transcribes every nugget of advice they get. -- Buzzfeed Earnest . . . clever . . . [Baek Sehee] uses months of (real) transcripts from her therapy sessions to explore her own depression and anxiety, always tiptoeing toward something like self-awareness. -- Chicago Tribune An eye-opening view into a persons most vulnerable moments in a new way. -- Cosmopolitan With candor and humor, Baek offers readers and herself resonant moments of empathy. -- Booklist I like that this books conversations dont follow a conventional narrative arc from conflict to redemption. Baek doesnt stand on a pedestal purporting to have found all the answers . . . Ultimately, there are no shiny promises that Baek will keep getting better; I appreciate her bravery to admit this to readers. -- Electric Lit For readers feeling a little icy around the edges, [Sehees] memoir promises to defrost. -- Wired.com [ I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki ] is a therapeutic salve . . . Sehees memoir is a connective tissue for all of us looking for a silver lining. -- PopSugar Compelling . . . there is a fascination being inside the counseling room with [Sehee]. We feel we are a party to a sacred realm and find ourselves drawn to her testimony; mesmerized by her ability to keep thwarting herself from getting better. And we want her to get better. -- Books & Film Globe If youve ever felt exhausted and anxious by performing well-being, this is a book for you. -- Ms. Magazine This book will comfort anyone whos ever been depressed, anxious, or just frustrated with themselves. -- Real Simple Baek Sehee ingeniously combines elements of memoir and self-help . . . She offers an intimate look into one patients experience in therapy and her own analysis of and takeaways from those sessions . . . Everyone is just trying to be as okay as possible, after all-and seeing Sehees processing of that in I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is sure to make readers feel a little less alone in their own attempts. -- Shelf Awareness About the Author Born in 1990, Baek Sehee studied creative writing in college before working for five years at a publishing house. For ten years, she received psychiatric treatment for dysthymia (persistent mild depression), which became the subject of her essays, and then I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki . Her favorite food is tteokbokki, and she lives with her rescue dog, Jaram. Anton Hur was born in Stockholm, Sweden. He is the winner of a PEN Translates grant and a PEN/Heim Translation Fund grant, among many others, and his translations include Kyung-Sook Shins Violets , Bora Chungs Cursed Bunny , and Sang Young Parks Love in the Big City .